This is not a joke, nor is it some story that I made up! This story has been on-going in our little local newspaper. I thought my readers would enjoy it. Here is last week’s installment, typed word for word from the article in the West Milford Messenger.

WEST MILFORD-The cow that won’t go home is still on the run in the woods of West Milford. As of 10:00 a.m. Thursday, the escaped bovine is still free and roaming the dense forested areas evading the best attempts to locate and apprehend her.

Bodacious Bovine, as she is now called, is starting to make quite a name for herself as growing numbers of searches are made to recapture her.

On May 6 two dozen cows were brought down from Monticello, N.Y., to West Milford Equestrian Center to participate in a roping event. Twenty-three of those animals went back home happy, but one must have liked the look of the town because she leapt a fence. Ella Mae Battipaglia, co-owner of the equestrian center said. “We just can’t catch her.”

There have been numerous sightings of the cow near Union Valley, Gould, and Echo Lake Roads with suggestions that the animal is gaining weight in its free and meandering walk in the woods. It also appears to be adopting nocturnal instincts. “She’s only coming out at night,” said Battipaglia, “Even though we’ve had many sightings of the cow, she is too deep into the forest for us to get to her.”

She is blackish-brown with a large number zero around her neck.

With no apparent wish to be reunited with its owner on the cow’s part, a team of riders and cattle dogs were called in on Tuesday. Jay Rubin, of the Monticello farm the cow formerly called home, organized the search party but so far they have been unable to pin her down.

A new approach might be in the works. “We might have to set up more of a capture plan,” said Battipaglia, “Maybe using containment rather than actually catching her.”

Further rescue attempts were planned for Thursday afternoon and Battipaglia said, “She is starting to appear closer to the equestrian center so that is a good sign.” Moosic to the ears of those pursuing her.

And, in yesterday’s paper the headline reads:

ELUSIVE COW EVADES CAPTURE: Hot on the Trail
Sightings of the elusive cow roaming around West Milford roll in like reports of Bigfoot, but so far she remains on the loose.

The black cow that escaped from a pen during a May 6 event at the West Milford Equestrian Center has drawn the attention of media outlets and county authorities.

The heifer, which the Equestrian Center rented from a New York livestock supplier, was to be used in an equestrian penning competition. Not wanting to be told where to go, she escaped into spring air and has been roaming free and feasting on greenery for over a month.

Mounted on horses, employees of Echo Lake Stables led by a mounted deputy from the Passaic County Sheriff’s Department led a search on the afternoon of Thursday, May 31, until daylight gave the cow ample cover and the search was called off. The cow was not spotted.

“Just after we loaded the last horse in, she popped out,” Echo Lake Stables co-owner Kathy Leaver said. “And we covered quite a bit of territory (on May 31).”

Stable employees and volunteers who board their horses at the facility have been joining in the search two or three times a week, Leaver said, whenever police alert John Macellaro, the mounted deputy and stable’s other owner, to a sighting.

The cow was seen on Friday morning, drawing workers at the Equestrian Center out on foot armed with a tranquilizer gun that would make her drowsy enough to get her tied up.

NBC’s New York affiliate Channel 4 was also interested and joined the searchers last week.

“She’s tough,” Frank Battipaglia, owner of the equestrian center said last week. “But we’re trying to catch her.” Battipaglia said the bovine was also spotted on Union Valley Road on Memorial Day and then the next day, but no one was able to get close enough to restrain it.

Despite rumors circulating around the township that the cow’s journey had come to a tragic ending, as of Monday, June 11, the cow was still alive and had not been caught, as far as police and staff at the equestrian center knew.

As a matter of fact, she might have made a friend, Ella Mae Battipaglia, owner, said. Police called the equestrian center on Friday, June 8 to let staffers know that there had been another spotting. When Frank Battipaglia, owner, saw the cow, he spotted it running with a bear, Ella Mae said, and neither was chasing the other. When the two were aware that they had been spotted, they diverted and disappeared, she said. “It’s weird.”

Anyone who spots the black cow is asked to contact the West Milford Equestrian Center.

—End of newspaper article.—

Oh dear. Can cows mate with bears? Bruno, you bad boy! Are you leading this poor cow astray??

I glide through the water trying not to make a sound. I do a few “dolphin rolls” and they make me dizzy. Which way is up? When doing the side stroke one ear is submerged in water and all I can hear is my breathing and the sound of my body making its way through the water. Peace and contentment. Who would have thought a pool could add so much dimension to one’s life?

Tiki torches glowing; fireflies twinkling in the grass. Naked as a jay bird with no one to see, I swim until my body is sated. To bed ... and sleep ... good night!

Our neighbors have built a beautiful stone-and-split-rail fence at the boundary of our adjoining property lines. I just love it.

We have a new bear in the neighborhood. I haven’t had the privilege of seeing him yet, but he’s been visiting neighbor Aileen for about a week now. She tells me he’s BIG. Actually, he’s not really ‘new;’ only to our yards. Luke [our resident teen who lives down the street and takes care of our cats when we’re gone and walks Kim’s dogs] has seen him before. Makes sense with all the cubs we have running around.

A few days ago around 7:15 a.m., Aileen called me to tell me he was headed our way. I held the dogs inside and ran from window to window like a little kid. Watching. Waiting. He didn’t make an appearance. Darn. Then my other neighbor, Kim, called the next night at 7:15 p.m. to tell us she just had a visit from the bear and he was now entering our front yard. We didn’t hear the phone ring, [watching TV in the other room] and didn’t pick up her message until the bear was long gone. Missed him again.

The day before yesterday the dogs were all “on alert.” It was a lovely cool day with a strong breeze blowing. I had both sliding doors in the sunroom open and they were all laying in the draft. I was sitting close by, reading. They started barking and almost went through the screen door. I told them to be quiet, but they kept on barking furiously. I got up and looked out the door. Nothing. Probably a dumb squirrel again. We went through this whole routine again about five times over the next hour or so.  Barking first in one direction, then in the other. I was getting a bit tired of this, as you can imagine, and finally I very firmly had to tell them to STOP IT! [okay, I yelled, I admit it; stomped my feet and threatened the pound] Hmpf ... fat lot of good that did, they know I’m only bluffing. A stong breeze blew through the room and they all lifted their noses and sniffed. Even the cats! It was a surreal moment. I sniffed too. I didn’t smell a thing, but they certainly did.

Okay, okay, I finally told them after another bout of barking. I will do a proper walk-around. I went into the back yard to take a look. Right. You’ve heard the expression “can’t see the forest for the trees?” Well, I can certainly relate because I can’t see the forest for the trees. It’s a jungle out there! Anyway, I walked around the back yard and to the back fence and peered into the woods. Nothing but trees.

Into the front yard. Nothing. Okay. Around to the side yard by the garage and I see something has changed.

The beautiful stone-and-split-rail fence is down. Not only down, it’s ... well ... downright split asunder!

As much as I love the fence, BRUNO,  [yes, I named him Bruno. He had to have a name; everyone else does!] however, does not. He just decided to go right through it instead of around it or over it. I immediately felt chastened, and was sorry I had yelled at the dogs. They knew. When will I learn to trust them? When they are that adamant about barking, it must be a bear. Please help me remember that in the future. He must have come through the fence the first time they nearly went through the screen since they were pointed in that direction.

When I called neighbor Aileen to tell her that her fence was broken, she said it wasn’t the first part of the fence that he’s taken down. He took down another section a few days ago and her husband wasn’t very happy with him. No, not likely. I told her about the dogs’ reaction. A few hours later she was calling me to tell me that the dog’s were spot-on: the bear had an encounter with her husband down by their chicken yard. The bear just sauntered on by, headed in our direction [again]. Rick had just arrived home from work, so we kept the dogs in and walked to the back of the yard to see if we could spot him in the woods. No such luck. If the fence incident hadn’t happened, I’d be thinking he was a figment of Aileen’s imagination at this point.

It kind of reminds me of Jaws where the music starts and builds and you know he’s coming but you can’t see him yet: 
da ... da
da ... da
da . da
da . da
dadadadadada ...

Where will he show up [or not] next?

Only one thing. You see, it’s mating season for black bears as they mate from late May through early July, with June being the prime time. Just what we need is a BIG randy bear breaking up fences and looking for love. I, for one, plan to stay out of his path. Yoo-hooooo! ... oh, Doris ... oh, Ursa ... wherefore art thou ladies?

Yesterday I bought some flowers to put into pots around the yard and for the front porch steps. Today my plan was to get them all potted.


I gathered up my gardening gloves, trusty trowel, soil, and pots and prepared to dig right in. Then I saw this:

Oh, dear. Slight snag given that I don’t ‘do’ power tools. I am not at all tool-inclined. In fact, I’m a bit dangerous in that department. My hands get clammy just thinking about it.

Caution: stand well back

Stupid, I know, and right now I can see my friend Linda out there laughing away at my trepidation over picking up a drill to make a few holes. When Rick called I told him of my dilemma. Jeez, Lynne,  just drill the hole. You can do it, he said. Could I? If he had confidence in me, well ... sure, why not. I’ll give it a go. What’s the worst thing that could happen? I drill right through my foot? Best not to think of what could go wrong.

I picked up the big orange monster and chose a drill bit. It took me a few minutes to figure out how to change out the bits, but it was simple. Look out pots, here I come!!!

In a matter of seconds the first hole was done. Huh, is that all there is to it? What was I so afraid of? Now I felt really stupid for having made such a big deal over it. I drilled the other three holes and felt disappointed that there weren’t more. I can see more power tools in my future. Just don’t get too close when I’m wielding one…

As I potted the geraniums and was taking out the plant tags, I noticed that even though they all appeared to be the same color of red, one of them was different. Take a look:

How very apropos. Just like me; another Rocky Mountain transplant. I hope this little geranium’s roots take hold and it flourishes in its new home; just like I have done over the past year.

What lies beyond yon wild rose-bedecked bower?