Sometimes you just need to sit back and listen in life. When I first moved to New Jersey I realized that people here like to talk. No matter if you are a stranger. Doesn’t bother them. Maybe I just have one of those sympathetic faces. I don’t know. But something I give off, be it in my mannerisms or facial expression, makes people want to tell me their stories. I needed to write this one down before I forgot.

First of all I want to say that the hair salon I go to (which is next to our Shop Rite) is a mecca for elderly ladies. Mostly they take over the salon on Fridays. They come in for their wash and set like they’ve done for their entire lives.

Yesterday when I walked in to the hair salon for my trim an elderly woman was sitting at the front of the salon. I took a chair by her, leaving one seat between us. She commented on how she thought my bag (as in purse or handbag) was handsome. She said she was waiting for her daughter to pick her up. Next thing you know she’s telling me that her daughter is a recent widow with two children ages 10 and 14. She’s only 52, you know, she told me. Had her children late in life she did. Now she’s all alone with those little ones. Her husband lived three days after his heart attack. The didn’t have any insurance on him and now she owes $50,000. He was only 54. Such a shame. She taps her cane a few times on the floor and shakes her head.

I nodded and expressed my regrets.

I’m 89, you know. Back right after the war I gave up a lot so that my husband could attend a government-funded school. He became quite successful. But after 37 years of marriage and all I gave him he left me and married somebody else. It felt wrong that I had given up so much for him and then he left. But I try not to dwell on that. Plenty of good things have happened in my life and like to think more about those. Still, sharing that seems to help me get rid of it. I hope you don’t mind.

I don’t mind at all I replied. Share away!

I’m 89 years old. I told you that, right? I’ve never smoked and didn’t really drink either. Everybody else my age was smoking but I didn’t go along with them. I’m glad of that now. I have my health. You ever smoke? she asks me. No, I reply. Never. Good for you! You got kids? No I said, they never seemed to fit into our life. She has no reply for this and seems to take it in.

As she’s doing so, I study her a bit. She looks very good for 89. Slight of build, with snow white hair and eyes that sparkle. Like many older ladies she has sprouted a pretty good mustache on her upper lip. I long to grab a pair of tweezers and pull out the thick black ones.

She squints up her eyes a bit and seems to be gazing off into the distance, thinking. She soon takes up right where she left off. Well, sort of.

I had a passionate hobby my whole life. I made pots. You know, out of clay. I was very good. My hands won’t let me work the wheel anymore. I miss it. My wheel is under the porch. I signed all my pots “Toni” on the bottom so if you ever turn over a pot and see the name “Toni” there, that’s me!

Toni is not my real name.  My real name was too difficult for people so I just started to call myself Toni. My real name is (and here she spells for me) E-M-M-O-N-D-S. Now I ask you what kind of name is that for a girl? But it’s a family name, some uncle I’m named for. I grew up around Indianapolis, all my family settled there. I’m from English stock. Had a relative in the Civil War and one was a general under Washington.

I’m 89. In great health!

At this point I see Margaret, my stylist, patiently waiting for us to finish our conversation so she can take me back for my trim.

As gently as possible I end our conversation and tell her to keep up whatever she is doing because it’s obviously working. As I head to the back of the salon, she’s still talking, only now she’s almost yelling so I will hear …

I’m 89!

Bless her heart.

Rose hip “spider”

I guess I haven’t had a lot to say lately. Not much to take photos of either at this time of year. Although this quote out of my photography class book does hit home:

“Quit trying to find beautiful objects to photograph. Find the ordinary objects so you can transform them by photographing them.”

That obviously takes a bit more work! Work that I am sometimes uninspired to find. You either have to be in the mood to take good photographs, or you’re not.

We had a lovely Thanksgiving yesterday. The weather was perfection and very much like remembered Thanksgivings of my childhood: sunny, a little brisk.

The turkey was phenomenal! This year I splurged and instead of getting our “free” turkey after earning points at our Shop Rite I placed an order for a fresh turkey from Pennings Farm Stand in Warwick, NY. I got the idea when we had lunch there a few weeks back and people kept coming up to the counter to put in their turkey order.

When I went to pick up the turkey on Tuesday there was a white duck wandering around their parking lot. This wasn’t too strange since they have a “petting zoo” on the premises with chickens, goats and etc. I walked in and said “Did you know you have someone loose in your parking lot?” One of the women behind the counter looked up at me and said “Does it say AFLAC?” (Note: those of you who don’t live in the States will not get this reference to a commercial on TV for insurance that uses a white duck. The insurance company name is Aflac and the duck is constantly shouting the word.) She went on to tell me that someone just dumped the duck at their store and they have no idea where he came from. They can’t put him in with their chickens because they tear each other apart. She’s said but he’s the friendliest duck. He just hangs out and greets people.

My “Thanksgiving” cacti are going all out this year. Fuchsia, white, red and salmon colors decorate the sun room. The cactus shown below is only one of the four that I have. Beautiful, no?

The turkeys came to visit us on Turkey Day. Brave souls! Not the most attractive birds up close but they are so ugly that I find them cute.

This tom had his tail feathers spread until I grabbed the camera. You can see the sacs on his neck are still inflated.

Up close their feathers are prismatic and quite lovely.

I think they are getting ready to breed. This morning I had a flock of 13 in the front yard and the toms were chasing the hens around. It won’t be the first time we’ve witnessed turkey sex in the front yard! Ah, country life.

Rick has a bad cold that he is trying to shake so our plans for taking Mia out today (it’s supposed to warm and beautiful) will have to be changed to taking it easy and watching movies. Let’s hope they are better than the one we chose to watch last night called “The Grey.” If you like movies where no one makes it out alive, I can recommend it. We recorded “The Poseidon Adventure” yesterday and at least some of them make it out in the end.

I really am quite boring lately and for that I apologize! I just can’t wrap my head around Christmas in a month. Where does the time go?

It’s 7:38 a.m. and I just got back from voting. Thank God for living in a small community as we just parked, walked into the VFW Hall and voted without any lines. We had to pass by the gas station with a small line of about 12 cars with even license plates waiting for gas. I hope my vote counts. I’m nervous. But, I did my part and I can’t change the outcome.

I’m also a little bit nervous about this new storm due to hit tomorrow. We don’t need any more wind, thank you! I really don’t want to lose power again. Please,  no!

It’s interesting that they are letting people who have been displaced (by Sandy) vote by fax or email. I love what Christie said in his press conference the other day about it, something to the effect that this doesn’t mean if you’re a low life and have been kicked out of your home because you didn’t pay your rent, it means if you’ve lost your home during Sandy.

I also found it interesting that in Bergen County they lifted the blue laws on places like Home Depot and Lowes or any other store that is participating somehow in the relief effort.

Our Shop Rite had about ten generators for sale in the front of the store yesterday. The fish counter had some fish but nothing like what they usually have. They are still limping along in getting shipments.

I talked to so many people without electricity. One person said she’s been told it will be Thanksgiving before she gets power back. When I stopped in the liquor store to pick up a few bottles of wine I got to talking to the owner (who also does not have power at home)  he told me that one of the biggest wine distributing centers is under water and won’t be able to restock for a month. No wine? Now that’s scary!!

On Sunday we were getting a little bit of cabin fever so we took Mia for a ride up to our favorite place for weekend lunch, the cafe at the Warwick Valley Winery. They had a very limited menu due to their fridge failing and not getting any new shipments in. We wanted pizza anyway, so we were happy with the selection. We passed so many crews working on power lines and saw lots of transformers, trees and power lines down. They are working hard, no doubt about it.

Another interesting thing I noticed a couple of days before Sandy arrived and that was the birds at our feeder. They were feeding like crazy and we had birds that we don’t normally have. A whole flock of cute little pine siskins flew in and a little red-breasted nuthatch. We normally have the white-breasted nuthatches but not the little red ones. We saw more purple finches too than normal. It seems that the siskins have moved on now but the little nuthatch is still here. This morning the birds are really hitting the feeder crazily again, so I hope that’s not a sign regarding our next storm.

Well, for sure this blog post ended up to be a lot of rambling! But one thing is certain and that is it’s going to be a while before things are “normal” again.

Photo: Door at the Warwick Valley Winery on Sunday.

When we woke up yesterday it was to TV, internet and phone all working once again. We were finally able to see the destruction for ourselves. Strange to think that last week this time we were still in prep mode for her arrival. I don’t think enough people took the warnings seriously, like our neighbor down the road who left his jumpy trampoline out which ended up speared on his fence. Thank goodness the fence stopped it or it would have made a dangerous projectile!

We count ourselves very lucky. Yes, we will have to pay quite a lot out of pocket for tree removal but we didn’t have any other damage. In places in the back of the house the siding was pulled away from the house some but we were able to pop the pieces back in. It blew down the lattice work that hid the pool pump from view. It took one of our BBQ covers (which was very sheltered up next to the house) and deposited it on the other side of the yard next to the pool deck. We lost a row of shingles on the top of the roof in back.

It deposited hundreds of tree branches and limbs all over the back and front yards. She nicely blew all our leaves into a thick clump both in front and back. A clump so thick that Johnny would not be able to make his way through it so we ended up raking them into huge piles and carting them away on a tarp and with the wheelbarrow over the past few days, because (have you heard?) we have another storm (not a hurricane) bearing down on us in the next few days?

Gas is still an issue but since we filled all three vehicles up with gas before Sandy came ashore (with the thought of siphoning gas out of them if we had to, which of course is impossible as we later found out) and we really haven’t used very much because we haven’t gone anywhere, we are okay on that front. We are now on odd/even rationing days and it feels very much like the 70’s gas shortage.

I have to say how impressed I am with Governor Christie. We watched him in a news conference yesterday and he was brilliant. He also seems to be able to make things happen: now. I am pretty much a Democrat since I align myself on the left on so many issues, but for him I could make an exception. Too bad he isn’t running for President!

The days following Sandy the sky was full of bruised and battered looking clouds, much like the way the people and land in her wake were feeling. It was very strange. Yesterday was the first day in about ten days that we have seen even a little bit of blue sky. Or the sun out in an kind of real display. And even then it didn’t last but for a few hours. The clouds settled in again but this time they looked more like bandages trying to patch things up. It’s going to take time but c’mon New Jersey/NYC, you can do this!

Photos: Monksville Reservoir before Sandy; the sky late yesterday afternoon.

If you didn’t know it was there you would completely pass by the tiny hole in the thick wall of trees. But I know it’s there. The opening to the Kingdom of the Thorn Queen. The path through the woods.

The Thorn Queen rules this particular section of woods. The minute I walk through the hole she reaches out her thorny fingers and plucks at my jeans as I attempt to walk by. Pluck, pluck, little girl. You’d better beware. You should behave here in my kingdom.

Today she only half-heartedly tries to stop me, whereas in the past she has drawn blood. She used to frighten me but not any more. I figure with all the blood I’ve given her over the years we should be blood sisters by now.

I continue on down the path, out of reach of her thorny grasp. Still, I am mindful to watch my ways. I sense that I am being watched as I make my way through the woods.

The temperature on this day is perfect. Not too hot; not too cool. Just right. The woods are turning but it seems slow this year. Many trees are still green yet the path underneath my feet is carpeted with spent leaves which give off the wonderful earthy smell of decomposing plant matter as I step on them.

I come out of the Thorn Queen’s Kingdom onto the road that leads down to the pond.

When I reach Green Turtle Pond there are just a few fisherman. A slight breeze ripples the surface of the pond. It’s quiet and peaceful.

I always forget about this cross until I come upon it again. I wonder if it’s a beloved dog that used to like going fishing with its master? Or is Austy a person that loved fishing?

Back up the road I go until it’s time to enter the Thorn Queen’s Kingdom once again. I reach the hole where the path ends and meets the main road. The Queen doesn’t care if I leave, so she keeps her thorny fingers to herself and I exit the Kingdom unharmed.