I do hope you’ll bear with me. I am in a funk. Yesterday was pretty good, but today not so much.
Maybe it’s because I spent a good part of the day yesterday going through old iPhoto libraries looking for photos of Sam. Not only did I find plenty of Sammy photos, but photos of deceased dogs, my mom, and happy times at the cabin with all of them. Downright depressing.
Maybe it’s because the day after Sam died I had the patio doors open sitting in the sun room reading and I kept hearing what sounded like a cat meowing outside. I stood outside several times but could never pinpoint the sound. I think it might have been Aileen’s chickens next door making funny noises. Maybe not.
Maybe it’s because I keep catching things out of the corner of my eye that look like Sam in various places in the house. Logically, of course, I know this is impossible but my brain has yet to catch up.
He was just always there.
Maybe it’s because I can’t get the images of the last few hours of his life out of my mind. It was not easy to watch and equally hard being replayed in my head.
It’s a process and I know blogging about him will help. I’m just not quite there yet.
Photo above: My ming aralia plant casting its early morning shadow on the bamboo shade in the sun room.
Posted by Lynne on 09/20/2012 at 02:00 PM
Filed under:
My thoughts •
Cats